illustrations
Enhance your next sermon.
Accusations
Published:John was driving home late one night when he picked up a hitchhiker. As they rode along, he began to be suspicious of his passenger. John checked to see if his wallet was safe in the pocket of his coat that was on the seat between them, but it wasn't there!
He slammed on the brakes, ordered the hitchhiker out, and said, "Hand over the wallet immediately!" The frightened hitchhiker handed over a wallet, and John drove off. When he arrived home, he started to tell his wife about the experience, but she interrupted him, saying, "Before I forget, John, do you know that you left your wallet at home this morning?
Agreement
Published:Two employees were chatting. "The boss wants a meeting today at 4:30." "Why does he always have to have them on Friday at 4:30?" "People tend to agree with him!"
Listen Your Teacher
Updated:10 year old Tilly Smith is credited with having saved the lives of over 100 beach goers
Trim the Sermon
Published:The story is told about a pastor that got up in the pulpit and apologized for the Band-Aid on his face. He said “I was thinking about my sermon while shaving and cut my face.” Afterward the treasurer found a note in the collection plate, “Next time, think about your face and cut the sermon.
Christmas Only Christians
Published:Jim was leaving church after Christmas services when the pastor greeted him and said, “Jim, it’s time you joined the Army of the Lord. We need to see you every Sunday.”
“I’m already in the Army of the Lord, Pastor,” Jim replied.
“Then why do we only see you on Christmas and Easter?”
Jim looked to the right and to the left, and then leaned over to whisper, “I’m in the Secret Service.”
Home Cooked Meal
Published:Have you heard the one about the mother who advised her young adult son to invite his new girlfriend over to his apartment for a home-cooked meal? As the man tells his mother the next day, the date didn’t go so well, because the girl refused to cook!
Length of a Sermon
Published:How is a sermon like a woman’s skirt? It should be long enough to cover the essentials, but short enough to keep you interested!